What If I Am Wrong?

Last weekend I was moved by a most powerful story.  Michael Stratford told our group about a particularly low point in his life when everything was going wrong and he felt that his life was not worth living.

He found himself on a ledge 30 some floors off the ground, deciding that his life was not worth living and intending to jump.

But three thoughts kept him from doing it.

The first was – Did he want his son to have the stigma of having a father that committed suicide?

The second was – Did he want people to have to clean up the mess as he splattered over the concrete?

And the third was – What If I am wrong?  Maybe life is worth living…

He came down from the ledge and checked himself into a mental institution.

While there he completed a 10,000 piece puzzle. He did not do it in the traditional way where you do the outside edges first and then put the easy parts together and then do the sky last.  He picked one piece and built the puzzle around it one piece at a time.  He was putting his life back together one piece at at time.

When it was complete, he decided that he was not crazy and called his therapist.  Since he entered the institution voluntarily he checked himself out.

The contribution that Michael has made to this world is phenomenal. He is a master coach.

He has coached and trained thousands of coaches and professionals.  And these people are making an amazing difference in the world.  He has a quirky view of the world that is refreshing and inspiring. He has attracted the partner of his dreams after two wrong turns. He is attracting the resources to live the life of his dreams.

I know that I wouldn’t be the same person or coach if he hadn’t decided that he was wrong.

Ask yourself the question…

What if I am Wrong?

Wrong about myself and what I am here to do?

Wrong abut whether I am “good enough”  ” smart enough” “competent enough” to …?

Wrong about my child who has lost their way?

Wrong about anyone?

Wrong about the environment?

Wrong about … you fill in the blank.

Answering this question will free you.

It is so easy to get hooked by so-called “reality” – we can’t see the possibility in the situation.

Please comment below and share your thoughts and your stories.

Sneak Peak

Michael and I will co-creating a new project.  So far it is in it’s infancy and I will let you know soon.  I will tell you that it came in the answer to me holding the question “What if I am wrong?” and the second one “What is my major league game?” (maybe a good topic for another post )

Stay tuned.

Life is Worth Living…

Are You Playing the Game That UR Built 4?

I would love to have you come play with us…

Feeling Good About Who You Are

No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt

If you are like me, you first heard this quote many years ago. Also, if you are like me, you knew that there was truth to it and still felt inferior.

To have self-worth is to have moved beyond the belief that valuing ourselves is egotistical. It is recognition that we are unique and loveable, just as we are. Only when we have come to this point can we really begin to be our true selves in the world or take full part in relationships.

As a tween, I remember very clearly brushing my little sister’s long beautiful hair and telling her how beautiful she was. My mother very quickly admonished me: “Don’t tell her that, it will go to her head”.  And so it was reinforced.  The message was subtle. A lifetime of not valuing me began. I didn’t realize it until midlife; I had considered being less than to be a virtue.

The ironic thing is an awareness that Eckhart Tolle made very clear in his book “A New Earth”.  To paraphrase ~ when we feel superior or inferior we are being egotistical.  The very thing that I was taught was from the ego.  Words cannot say how freeing it was to learn that valuing and loving myself just as I am is truly free of ego.

It may help to look back at your childhood and question where you received the message that you were not good enough – perhaps not loveable.  And then consider if you want to go on believing that.  As long as you believe it and continue to put yourself down, others will, too.  Law of Attraction and your life experience will provide endless ways to prove you right!

In choosing to look at your self-worth today, you are being asked to look at the wounded child within, who didn’t receive the love he or she needed and is still looking to be validated from outside. You must find the wounded part and hold this child in love.  Feel for yourself.  Be kind to yourself. Parent yourself as you would have wanted to be parented then.

If you try to manipulate the people around you into giving the reassurance or security you feel you lacked, you will ultimately be disappointed.  Your partner, boss or colleague can never give what you don’t have within.

Begin to see how power and control are played out in your life.  The fact is that your victim role is based on the belief that you can’t get power any other way.  But in seeking to please and appease, you are just as guilty of trying to control the people around you – into staying around and being nice to you – as someone who is obviously dominating.

On the other hand, you may be concealing your innate sense of worthlessness behind a facade of superiority.  Rather than valuing yourself, you are measuring your worth by your roles and your material success, or lack of it.  You may have convinced many, including yourself, that this is who you are.

Measuring yourself by where you live, who you know and what you do could be leading yourself from the truth.  Your real worth is in the essence of who you are.

The paradox is that as long as you go on believing that the trappings of your life make you special, you will never feel special and loved for yourself.

It is interesting to notice that at the core of feeling inferior or superior – is low self-worth.

This is one of the Core Dynamics of Common Problems – Looking for Yourself Where You Are Not. To receive a free report that describes how this dynamic and others keep you from being who you really are go to www.goldenpathways.ca  or www.trulyconfidentleader.com

It really is time to stop trying to prove yourself and imagining that others are better than you. Or that you are better than them.  You are infinitely precious and truly amazing in your uniqueness.  The moment you connect with that, your life will begin to change.

If this article resonated with you, request a free session to learn more about how to reconnect with the essence of who you really are. 

Five Principles of Strategic Planning to Create Successful Outcomes

What makes strategic planning successful, and what are the outcomes when it is successful?

 

Principles of Strategic Planning:

What are the principles and techniques that unleash the power of strategic planning and ensure its usefulness not just to “create a plan” but actually to transform an organization?

  

The five principles below come out of the actual experiences of successful organizations, the rich literature on strategic planning, and new methods for bringing people together in constructive, creative ways.

 

1. The plan, the written document that strategic planning produces, is only 50% of the product. The other half is the revitalization experienced by the people in the organization: a fresh perspective, a new appreciation for their work, a new sense of possibilities, and renewed commitments.

  

2. The “whole system” participates, at least by representation. Organizational transformation and renewal require widespread involvement, rather than a traditional strategic planning committee of 10-12 people.

  

3. Organizational leaders sponsor the planning process: they explain its importance in the life of the organization, forecast its benefits, participate fully, and follow through on its outcomes.

  

4. Participants are invited to take a positive, appreciative approach, based on rediscovering together their passion about their work and the organization. The emphasis is on finding common ground and building from it. Strategic planning is less about solving problems and more about tapping into what Tom Chappell, CEO of Tom.s of Maine, calls “the soul of a business,” discovering people’s shared values and helping them create the kind of organization they truly want.

  

5. The planning effort should match the needs and resources of the organization. There are a variety of planning methodologies, including among others the Appreciative Inquiry summit, future search, and open space technology. All of these “work”; they are proven methods of bringing people together for planning and change. Finding the best “fit” between an organization and a method brings creative results.  

 

Register here for a free consultation to help you get the outcomes that you desire.

 

Are You The Kind Of Person That Every Team Wants?

REGAINING YOUR ENTHUSIASM WITH POSITIVE RESULTS

 

Recently, I had a client lament that since he had decided that he was going to look for a new job, he found it difficult to be enthusiastic and committed to his current job.

 

Another client was complaining about everyone else on the team.

 

Still another client blamed the system and the boss for his situation.

 

Whether you have one foot out the door, are discouraged in your current position or just doing your job without commitment– being blasé or constantly critical can be a dangerous mistake.

 

In fact, what we focus on is what we get!  What you give attention to is what grows and expands.   When you give attention to the things around you that makes you feel bad, you tend to draw to you more “feel bad” things.  In other words, you continue to feel more of what you have projected out there.  

 

On the other hand, when you give attention to something that makes you feel good … you will tend to find more feel good kind of things.  

 

Since what you attract is based on how you are feeling, then it is very important that you feel good. Notice the things around you that make you feel good.  It is easier and much more effective to attract a perfect new job when you are feeling good in your current job.  Likewise, you are more likely to attract a positive team or an interesting project when you are the kind of person every team wants.

 

What can you do if you are not feeling good at the moment?  How can you shift those feelings?  In other words – how can you stop being hooked by everything and everyone that is going on around you?  The exercise below will guide that process for you:

·       Shift from noticing what is going on to what you want

·       Make a list of qualities that you admire in team players.  Your wish list for what you wish every body else was exhibiting.

·       Then look at the list and rate yourself – 1-10 for each quality

·       Commit to upgrading your low scores.

Here is a list of examples:

·       Enthusiasm

·       Communication

·       Preparation

·       Commitment

·       Dependent

·       Self-Improving

·       Competent

·       Adaptable

·       Solution oriented

·       Intentional

 

You may be surprised at how things will change for you.  Even in a less than desirable environment – you will notice a change in how you feel. I guarantee it.

 

Are You a Dream Team Coach?

Whether you are an avid Super Bowl Fan or not – we can all learn from an all star coach.

 

Too often, we expect specific results from our team and then get disappointed.

 

Let’s examine how a Dream Team Coach operates.

 

Every good coach works with a game plan.  It is not only an individual plan but a team plan and a long term plan.  And the coach reminds people of the game plan.

 

The coach:

1. Tells the player what is expected of them – how they fit into the game plan and what they should try to do.

 

2. Gives them opportunity to perform – in other words – Give them room to be good.

 

3. Lets them know how they are getting along – this gives them the opportunity to learn, improve and increase their contribution.

 

4. Instruct them when they need it – this gives them the means to learn, improve and increase their contribution.

 

5. Reward them.  This gives incentive for their effort.

 

A Dream Team Coach Takes the Time to Huddle 

When a team huddles, it recalls the game plan and how it is to be implemented.  It is an opportunity to listen, possibly make personnel changes, make play changes and to rest. When there is no huddle there is confusion and less than optimal performance.

 

Every dream team needs to huddle

 

Creating a dream team is a process.  Enjoy every step, and apply the principles of a dream team coach.

 

You are free to write the worst junk in …

Peterborough, Ontario, Canada, The Western Hemisphere, the world, the universe.  If you’re not willing to have junk on your page, you won’t have the spaciousness to let the hot writing flow.  This is  a really important rule: otherwise the Judge will grab your hand and squeeze it too tight to write.

Yesterday I took a workshop in writing practice and the above was one of the basic guidelines.  It really caught me because for some reason, I needed that permission.

Last August – this beautiful blog was created for me – and I have only posted one entry.  I have a lot of good reasons why but when I looked beneath them all I found this … FEAR.

Fear of being judged, fear of not being good enough.  Remnants of that really old stuff. So I felt into it all and here I am. (CORE Technique http://www.unblockingyoursuccess.com)

Thanks Susan Reynolds of www.goforwords.com - I am now free to let the hot writing flow – along with some junk.

Cheers,

Cora