Broken Pottery

Imagine 20 guests waiting for dinner. I am feeling very good because everything is organized and I have just made the most perfect gravy. It was thick and tasty and I put it in my favourite pottery bowl. I then drop it on the ceramic floor. There is gravy and broken pottery all over the place. Gravy is dripping down the cupboards. What a mess!

Immediately, I could feel emotion that reminded me of a time when I was about 11 years old. My sister and I were playing and we accidentally broke my mother’s favorite lamp. My mother was soooo upset. It was like we had destroyed a part of her. She had brought it over from Holland. There was a lot of tears and drama and we felt like the most horrible children on earth. Then we started to blame each other. The worst was when my father was informed about our evil ways.

I felt guilt, blame, and fear. I didn’t feel good about me.

Luckily that memory is fleeting. My present response is quite different. While standing in the midst of gravy and broken pottery I appreciate that I haven’t burned myself. My husband says “opportunity to buy new pottery”. I chuckle and clean it up. It is wonderful to not be attached to favorite pottery, perfect gravy or expectations. How times have changed.

I am so glad to be doing core dynamics work! It makes life so much more enjoyable and much easier on me and the people around me. Especially when we make mistakes!

Richard Bach has a beautiful quote “What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly”

The choice is between hanging on to the past and pining for what’s lost or embracing the road ahead. And the decision is purely one’s own and has to come from within!

Now I wonder what adventure will help me find that new pottery bowl…

Wishing you a wonderful new year and many caterpillar transformations!

Cora Whittington

705-745-4006

“If you want to know whether you have stuff to work on… Just go home for the weekend”

Wow, have I found this to be true! Some of my clients and friends say that they even don’t have to go home – they just need to think about home and they get triggered.

Why is this so?  So many of us have come a long way in our communication and people skills.  In parts of our lives, we can handle the uncertainty, problem solve and have unlimited patience.  Then we get a call from a family member and here come those old feelings and behaviours.

To understand this phenomenon, it is helpful to re-examine the source of our conditioning and how Pure Awareness Techniques can address this.

What to Do About It

Before we can resolve this conditioning, it is important to understand that “Everything is Energy!” Scientists can show us that every solid item, in fact, everything that exists can be microscopically examined to the tiniest particle of energy.  This includes limiting beliefs and emotional experiences.

It is not hard to figure this out.  Just scan your body and notice where you feel the anger, insecurity or fear.  It will be in your stomach, shoulders or somewhere.  And depending whether we are responding unconsciously from our childhood programming or consciously from our adult learning, we will respond differently. We can feel the emotion in our body.

The Human Computer

To further understand our conditioning we can use the metaphor of a computer because computers were designed to replicate the human brain.  Believe it or not, our conditioning is just faulty human software.

It all begins in childhood. It doesn’t matter whether we got yelled at for spilling the milk or a more intense experience.  Our young brain goes inside and says, “I don’t like this feeling, I think I will not feel so much”.  First it is important to understand that is the spindle cells in our brain that process emotion. When we are children we do not have as many spindle cells as we do when we get older.

But the damage is done. The software of “I’m not good enough” and the desire to avoid intense feelings is installed.   Put several of these experiences together and we have the equivalent of too many open files on our computer.  We all know what too many open files do to our computer; it either slows down or crashes. As humans we also can get overwhelmed or desire to shut down our system. Has this ever happened to you?

So what happens when we go home?  Old open files and software get triggered and sometimes you hear your six or sixteen year old voice respond to the presenting situation.  You may over-react or shut down completely.

When this happens we really are not responding to the present situation.  We are responding to what this current tone of voice, comment or conflict reminds me of that is unresolved from the past.

Your adult brain may not even approve of your response but you do it anyway.  Talk about an internal conflict!

Why Just Talking About It Is Not Enough

Many of us have tried talking about our “problems” hoping to solve them. Yet we still feel emotion in our bodies and experience repeating patterns. It doesn’t seem to go away.

Again, using the metaphor of the computer, we know that being able to identify the virus and outdated software on our computer won’t get rid of it.  We can name it, we know when it showed up and willing the computer to change will not remove the virus or update the software. You have to run a virus removal program and sometime install an upgraded program.

But if you are like many people you have tried traditional methods of trying to identifying factors and causes in dealing with the past. The problem is that the feelings are still in the body. And all the talking does not change it. For many it is time to try something different.

Pure Awareness Techniques – The Virus Removal Process

There is a new emerging science that can address what previously took years to resolve. Pure Awareness techniques can help us release emotional pain and stress through mind/body energy techniques, and can be an effective tool for completing open files.  When the open files are complete, we are calmer and calmness brings options.  And this can be done very quickly.

As a Leadership and Life coach specializing in this field, I have done over 5000 coaching sessions using a specific protocol and the Pure Awareness techniques. This is what I have come to expect.

• Physical sensations of distress (such as tense muscles, racing heart, lumps in the throat or sensations in the pit of the stomach) are alleviated.
• Disturbed thought processes (such distorted perceptions and catastrophic expectations) are normalized.
• Negative emotions (fear, panic, anger, helplessness, confusion, etc.) are replaced by inner peace.
• Unhelpful behavioural tendencies (flight or fight or freeze responses, for example) are corrected. All of this can be achieved using the natural resources of the body’s energetic system.

These changes often happen within only minutes, and yet the inner transformation is often profound and enduring. There is a large generalization effect of completing old files – meaning that the dealing of one issue often causes resolution in many other issues (a real bonus!).

After correcting problems energetically, clients report common experiences. They say things like the following:

	“It doesn’t bother me anymore – I can’t feel it.” “I can’t quite find it – it seems very distant now.” “I see it, but it doesn’t seem to have anything to do with me.” “It’s gone.” “It’s O.K. now. It’s all over.” “I feel calm.” “I don’t care about it anymore – it’s not important.” “I’m not afraid anymore; I feel fine.” “I don’t feel that way now.”

The specialized coaching process and Pure Awareness techniques can be used to treat a large array of distressing symptoms including the following types of problems and more:

	worries, fears, anxieties and phobias painful memories, grief and traumatic experiences stress, burnout, exhaustion anger, rage, resentment, irritability moodiness, sadness, depression insecurity, low self-worth relationship difficulties performance issues limiting beliefs

I am in the business of helping people upgrade their old outdated software…Imagine going into a family or work situation without being triggered or reduced to a small child or a teenager …what a gift to yourself.

If you are triggered by old family dynamics, a colleague or you just want to upgrade your software, call me for a free introductory coaching session.  705-745-4006 or email cw@goldenpathways.ca

It may be time to upgrade your inner human software.

Make 2010 your best year ever,

With warmest regards,

Cora Whittington

Use Nature’s Metaphor to Answer Your Question

You have been working hard.  Your mind is full of new concepts.  It may feel fuzzy or perhaps discombobulating.  It isn’t that you are opposed to anything.  It is just that you need something to help you pull it all together.

I  invite you to take  a walk outside.  You may walk by yourself or with a companion but I ask you to be silent and watchful.  Before you leave, silently ask a question that you are seeking an answer to. As you walk you will see nature all around you.  Nature speaks to us and helps us unscramble by offering us metaphors.

A metaphor is a symbolic representation of something.  Today you will look for a metaphor in nature (a leaf, or twig, or flower, or stone, or …. any of the million metaphors nature has to offer us).  The metaphor will represent a part or all of your process so far.

IF it is retrievable, bring it back with you.  If it isn’t (a tree or a wild orchid that shouldn’t be picked) create a mental picture and do a little sketch.

When you return,  share with us the metaphor.  You will note that we will all add to your explanation and we will all gain from everyone’s metaphor.  Metaphors help us go deeper, synthesize what we already know and gain wonderful insights.

Have fun!

Coach Cora

How can you have more meaningful moments today?

Answer: Look at the world through soft eyes.

 There is an eastern wisdom that asks us to look at the world through soft eyes. In contrast, look at something with hard eyes. Notice your eyes squint, your forehead tighten and your brow furrow. Feel the judgement in your body.

 Each moment is an opportunity for a new beginning.

Some situations create tension. Negative emotions may rise to the surface. Seeing through soft eyes does not mean that you pretend the negative feelings are not there. With your growing mindfulness, you will be more aware of the tension and its location in your body. Be with the feeling. With awareness, choose to understand the people in the situation that creates the tension.

See with understanding and compassion.

Seeing through soft eyes means seeing with understanding and compassion. It is a starting place for customer care, conflict resolution and other interpersonal interactions. Energy in the workplace would be focused on the work to be done rather than on the issues to be resolved.

 

Now look at it with soft eyes. Your face will relax. Notice the difference in your body and your attitude.

Cora remembers an experience at age nineteen when she was working in L’Arche, France. She says, “I remember to this day, Jean Vanier’s eyes. It didn’t matter who he was talking to or what about, you could feel his love radiating through his eyes.”

 

 

We wish you a day of understanding and compassion through soft eyes. Please share your stories with us.