Broken Pottery

Imagine 20 guests waiting for dinner. I am feeling very good because everything is organized and I have just made the most perfect gravy. It was thick and tasty and I put it in my favourite pottery bowl. I then drop it on the ceramic floor. There is gravy and broken pottery all over the place. Gravy is dripping down the cupboards. What a mess!

Immediately, I could feel emotion that reminded me of a time when I was about 11 years old. My sister and I were playing and we accidentally broke my mother’s favorite lamp. My mother was soooo upset. It was like we had destroyed a part of her. She had brought it over from Holland. There was a lot of tears and drama and we felt like the most horrible children on earth. Then we started to blame each other. The worst was when my father was informed about our evil ways.

I felt guilt, blame, and fear. I didn’t feel good about me.

Luckily that memory is fleeting. My present response is quite different. While standing in the midst of gravy and broken pottery I appreciate that I haven’t burned myself. My husband says “opportunity to buy new pottery”. I chuckle and clean it up. It is wonderful to not be attached to favorite pottery, perfect gravy or expectations. How times have changed.

I am so glad to be doing core dynamics work! It makes life so much more enjoyable and much easier on me and the people around me. Especially when we make mistakes!

Richard Bach has a beautiful quote “What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly”

The choice is between hanging on to the past and pining for what’s lost or embracing the road ahead. And the decision is purely one’s own and has to come from within!

Now I wonder what adventure will help me find that new pottery bowl…

Wishing you a wonderful new year and many caterpillar transformations!

Cora Whittington

705-745-4006

Are You Trying Too Hard?

During these last two days,  I had the privilege of working with Donna Messer and 12 amazing business women.  The purpose of the days was to become clear about our next phase or a new business idea and share networks and resources.  Donna is a walking encyclopaedia of resources.  Even though our heads hurt with the volume of information and action items it was a good experience.  This morning, one of the participants sent this note: “Awesome day… Slept like a baby, first time in months”.

For me, I have decided to create an on-line program and wanted a really cool name.  I have been noodling possibilities for a month or more and nothing gave me the goose bump results that I have been looking for.  I came up with lots for other people but couldn’t come up with my own.  I was getting frustrated and yet knew it would come. Donna said to me “You are trying too hard”.

That evening at dinner, it popped out of the conversation.  I am not going to tell you what it is until we officially launch it and I get the name registered etc.  The important key is that when I stopped trying to make it happen – it could come. 

The next morning two interest things happened.  I have a Nordic pole walking partner and we walk at 7 in the morning.  She wasn’t feeling well and cancelled the evening before. Normally this would be my excuse to sleep in.  But this time, I knew that I needed to get up and walk by myself.  I walked to the river and watched the mist, the enchanting sunrise and went into a Pure Awareness state as is my habit.  My daughter had put a number of high energy songs on my iPod and just at this time, while in the Pure Awareness state, Michael Jackson’s song “Children of the World” started playing.  It was magical.

Part of my process has been asking the question: What is the essence of what I do and how can I explain it? I got shivers and cried as Michael sang

Make the world a better place for you and for me

There is a love that cannot die

Stop existing and start living

Make a better world

I got it! The essence of my work is helping people stop existing and start living and then make the world a better place for themselves. It is only when they have made the world a better place for themselves that  they can make it a better place for others.  And each person has the power to do that but it is an inside job. So many of us, including Michael think that it is something outside of us that will make my world a better place – it’s not – it is an inside job!

I also got that if Michael had Core Dynamics Coaching – he wouldn’t have needed all the ways of numbing his pain or power.  WE are all one – Michael is just reflecting back to us how we are doing the same.  He did it in a big and dramatic way.  We are doing it in our own way, but I know in my heart of hearts that it doesn’t have to be that way for anyone. We all have the power to make our experience of our world meaningful and fulfilling. Some of us are carrying some beliefs, baggage and stories that this is not possible for them.  I don’t buy it.

After the Michael experience – which was odd on the day of the release of his movie, the first person that arrived walked in the door said “Cora … the title of my new workshop”.  (I know, I am watching too many dance reality shows but you will have to wait for the launch J) I was getting the confirmation that I needed.

This whole experience reminded me of something that Esther Hicks teaches.  She says that the energy of our questions and the energy of the answers are entirely different.  We ask our question from a place of lack or neediness.  We don’t get our answers when we are in this state. 

The answers come when we are receptive, open and calm and often when we are not looking for them. Stop trying so hard. It is important to ask our questions and change our state to receive our answers.  Because when we get our answers from knowing … nothing can stop us.

Thanks Universe for the reminder.

Cora Whittington

Feeling Good About Who You Are

No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt

If you are like me, you first heard this quote many years ago. Also, if you are like me, you knew that there was truth to it and still felt inferior.

To have self-worth is to have moved beyond the belief that valuing ourselves is egotistical. It is recognition that we are unique and loveable, just as we are. Only when we have come to this point can we really begin to be our true selves in the world or take full part in relationships.

As a tween, I remember very clearly brushing my little sister’s long beautiful hair and telling her how beautiful she was. My mother very quickly admonished me: “Don’t tell her that, it will go to her head”.  And so it was reinforced.  The message was subtle. A lifetime of not valuing me began. I didn’t realize it until midlife; I had considered being less than to be a virtue.

The ironic thing is an awareness that Eckhart Tolle made very clear in his book “A New Earth”.  To paraphrase ~ when we feel superior or inferior we are being egotistical.  The very thing that I was taught was from the ego.  Words cannot say how freeing it was to learn that valuing and loving myself just as I am is truly free of ego.

It may help to look back at your childhood and question where you received the message that you were not good enough – perhaps not loveable.  And then consider if you want to go on believing that.  As long as you believe it and continue to put yourself down, others will, too.  Law of Attraction and your life experience will provide endless ways to prove you right!

In choosing to look at your self-worth today, you are being asked to look at the wounded child within, who didn’t receive the love he or she needed and is still looking to be validated from outside. You must find the wounded part and hold this child in love.  Feel for yourself.  Be kind to yourself. Parent yourself as you would have wanted to be parented then.

If you try to manipulate the people around you into giving the reassurance or security you feel you lacked, you will ultimately be disappointed.  Your partner, boss or colleague can never give what you don’t have within.

Begin to see how power and control are played out in your life.  The fact is that your victim role is based on the belief that you can’t get power any other way.  But in seeking to please and appease, you are just as guilty of trying to control the people around you – into staying around and being nice to you – as someone who is obviously dominating.

On the other hand, you may be concealing your innate sense of worthlessness behind a facade of superiority.  Rather than valuing yourself, you are measuring your worth by your roles and your material success, or lack of it.  You may have convinced many, including yourself, that this is who you are.

Measuring yourself by where you live, who you know and what you do could be leading yourself from the truth.  Your real worth is in the essence of who you are.

The paradox is that as long as you go on believing that the trappings of your life make you special, you will never feel special and loved for yourself.

It is interesting to notice that at the core of feeling inferior or superior – is low self-worth.

This is one of the Core Dynamics of Common Problems – Looking for Yourself Where You Are Not. To receive a free report that describes how this dynamic and others keep you from being who you really are go to www.goldenpathways.ca  or www.trulyconfidentleader.com

It really is time to stop trying to prove yourself and imagining that others are better than you. Or that you are better than them.  You are infinitely precious and truly amazing in your uniqueness.  The moment you connect with that, your life will begin to change.

If this article resonated with you, request a free session to learn more about how to reconnect with the essence of who you really are. 

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