“F” Stands for…

“F” is an interesting letter.  It is interesting how the poor letter has unintentionally become a symbol of so many things. Not all of them are positive.

While there are several possible articles on the letter “F” – let’s look at “Failure”.  For many of us, an “F” was not a good thing to receive in school, in work or in life.  We all have many examples where people in authority have pointed out our flaws and mistakes.  Just reading about this is probably bringing up some feelings and memories.

My biggest freedom in my life was when I shifted from “F” stands for Failure to “F” standing for Feedback.

Now when someone gives me “Feedback” even if it is rife with judgment or criticism I started looking for the nugget of truth, accept my responsibility for the nugget and automatically become more intentional of what I want. I ignore their delivery or their part in it.  I am not always successful right away but eventually when I shift to this approach, magical things happen.

But to be honest, I don’t get much of that old style criticism anymore.  What I do get is loving, sincere information that helps me get better.

Last week, I put out a video with a very powerful message but a poor delivery.  Part of me knew that and part of me just wanted to play with what would come up if I did something less than perfect.  There is so much that I haven’t done because I wanted it to be perfect. I tried to cover up myself with music and flying in letters.  And it didn’t work.

7  beautiful people sent me e-mails with lists of  suggestions for how I could do it better. And I sooooo appreciate that.  It is interesting to observe my internal response.  There was part of me that wanted to beat myself up for putting something out that was mediocre. Some old stuff was still there.  And there was part of me that was truly OK with it.  And there is a part of me that can’t wait to try some new ideas.

On the day that I did the first video, I created a second one.  It was my second go so I was definitely more animated and present.  I am still working on my recording and technical jitters and playing with different ways of presenting. I did however create it without the distracting music and fonts. (Thanks friends )

Should I have posted the mediocre video – maybe not or maybe… it was the perfect thing to do.  Sometimes our “screw-ups” are perfect.  I have seen so many times in my life and clients when that less than perfect situation became perfect.  My coaching teachers Wendy Down, Michael Stratford, and Tom Stone taught me something very important. They told me that it was not up to me to judge whether something was right or wrong, good or bad, perfect or imperfect.

Sometimes it is the imperfections that teach us the most.

This video is going to be released in tomorrow’s blog – but you can watch it today if you are inspired! (see below)

Remember to register for the productivity upgrade teleseminar series where we will learn much more about all of this.

http://www.unravelthemysterynow.com

Wishing you a wondrous life,

Cora

Broken Pottery

Imagine 20 guests waiting for dinner. I am feeling very good because everything is organized and I have just made the most perfect gravy. It was thick and tasty and I put it in my favourite pottery bowl. I then drop it on the ceramic floor. There is gravy and broken pottery all over the place. Gravy is dripping down the cupboards. What a mess!

Immediately, I could feel emotion that reminded me of a time when I was about 11 years old. My sister and I were playing and we accidentally broke my mother’s favorite lamp. My mother was soooo upset. It was like we had destroyed a part of her. She had brought it over from Holland. There was a lot of tears and drama and we felt like the most horrible children on earth. Then we started to blame each other. The worst was when my father was informed about our evil ways.

I felt guilt, blame, and fear. I didn’t feel good about me.

Luckily that memory is fleeting. My present response is quite different. While standing in the midst of gravy and broken pottery I appreciate that I haven’t burned myself. My husband says “opportunity to buy new pottery”. I chuckle and clean it up. It is wonderful to not be attached to favorite pottery, perfect gravy or expectations. How times have changed.

I am so glad to be doing core dynamics work! It makes life so much more enjoyable and much easier on me and the people around me. Especially when we make mistakes!

Richard Bach has a beautiful quote “What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly”

The choice is between hanging on to the past and pining for what’s lost or embracing the road ahead. And the decision is purely one’s own and has to come from within!

Now I wonder what adventure will help me find that new pottery bowl…

Wishing you a wonderful new year and many caterpillar transformations!

Cora Whittington

705-745-4006

How can you have more meaningful moments today?

Answer: Look at the world through soft eyes.

 There is an eastern wisdom that asks us to look at the world through soft eyes. In contrast, look at something with hard eyes. Notice your eyes squint, your forehead tighten and your brow furrow. Feel the judgement in your body.

 Each moment is an opportunity for a new beginning.

Some situations create tension. Negative emotions may rise to the surface. Seeing through soft eyes does not mean that you pretend the negative feelings are not there. With your growing mindfulness, you will be more aware of the tension and its location in your body. Be with the feeling. With awareness, choose to understand the people in the situation that creates the tension.

See with understanding and compassion.

Seeing through soft eyes means seeing with understanding and compassion. It is a starting place for customer care, conflict resolution and other interpersonal interactions. Energy in the workplace would be focused on the work to be done rather than on the issues to be resolved.

 

Now look at it with soft eyes. Your face will relax. Notice the difference in your body and your attitude.

Cora remembers an experience at age nineteen when she was working in L’Arche, France. She says, “I remember to this day, Jean Vanier’s eyes. It didn’t matter who he was talking to or what about, you could feel his love radiating through his eyes.”

 

 

We wish you a day of understanding and compassion through soft eyes. Please share your stories with us.

Are You Trying Too Hard?

During these last two days,  I had the privilege of working with Donna Messer and 12 amazing business women.  The purpose of the days was to become clear about our next phase or a new business idea and share networks and resources.  Donna is a walking encyclopaedia of resources.  Even though our heads hurt with the volume of information and action items it was a good experience.  This morning, one of the participants sent this note: “Awesome day… Slept like a baby, first time in months”.

For me, I have decided to create an on-line program and wanted a really cool name.  I have been noodling possibilities for a month or more and nothing gave me the goose bump results that I have been looking for.  I came up with lots for other people but couldn’t come up with my own.  I was getting frustrated and yet knew it would come. Donna said to me “You are trying too hard”.

That evening at dinner, it popped out of the conversation.  I am not going to tell you what it is until we officially launch it and I get the name registered etc.  The important key is that when I stopped trying to make it happen – it could come. 

The next morning two interest things happened.  I have a Nordic pole walking partner and we walk at 7 in the morning.  She wasn’t feeling well and cancelled the evening before. Normally this would be my excuse to sleep in.  But this time, I knew that I needed to get up and walk by myself.  I walked to the river and watched the mist, the enchanting sunrise and went into a Pure Awareness state as is my habit.  My daughter had put a number of high energy songs on my iPod and just at this time, while in the Pure Awareness state, Michael Jackson’s song “Children of the World” started playing.  It was magical.

Part of my process has been asking the question: What is the essence of what I do and how can I explain it? I got shivers and cried as Michael sang

Make the world a better place for you and for me

There is a love that cannot die

Stop existing and start living

Make a better world

I got it! The essence of my work is helping people stop existing and start living and then make the world a better place for themselves. It is only when they have made the world a better place for themselves that  they can make it a better place for others.  And each person has the power to do that but it is an inside job. So many of us, including Michael think that it is something outside of us that will make my world a better place – it’s not – it is an inside job!

I also got that if Michael had Core Dynamics Coaching – he wouldn’t have needed all the ways of numbing his pain or power.  WE are all one – Michael is just reflecting back to us how we are doing the same.  He did it in a big and dramatic way.  We are doing it in our own way, but I know in my heart of hearts that it doesn’t have to be that way for anyone. We all have the power to make our experience of our world meaningful and fulfilling. Some of us are carrying some beliefs, baggage and stories that this is not possible for them.  I don’t buy it.

After the Michael experience – which was odd on the day of the release of his movie, the first person that arrived walked in the door said “Cora … the title of my new workshop”.  (I know, I am watching too many dance reality shows but you will have to wait for the launch J) I was getting the confirmation that I needed.

This whole experience reminded me of something that Esther Hicks teaches.  She says that the energy of our questions and the energy of the answers are entirely different.  We ask our question from a place of lack or neediness.  We don’t get our answers when we are in this state. 

The answers come when we are receptive, open and calm and often when we are not looking for them. Stop trying so hard. It is important to ask our questions and change our state to receive our answers.  Because when we get our answers from knowing … nothing can stop us.

Thanks Universe for the reminder.

Cora Whittington

Ebs and Flows Are Normal

Have you lost momentum or enthusiasm?

Is everything an effort or a struggle?

Are you not clear about what to do next?

Don’t worry, this is normal…  Uncomfortable but normal…

When this happens we have two choices

1) Wallow in it L or

2) Be curious about what is coming next J

For me this happens when I am on the edge of something new and big.  Even though it doesn’t feel like something positive.  It is usually a time when self doubts and possibly some outside criticism shows up.  I try out some new ideas and they don’t resonate with me or others.  It is a time of discouragement and frustration.

How could this possibly be a good thing?  When we experience what we don’t want helps us become clearer about what we do want.  Curiosity about what is coming allows us to see what is possible.  You have all experienced someone telling you about purchasing a particular new car and colour and then all of a sudden you see that exact car and colour everywhere.  These cars didn’t show up just for you, they were always there but they weren’t in your view until you gave it some attention.  You can only see what you are looking for.  So you might just as well be looking for the next cool thing in your life or business versus what is going wrong.

The question is “What to do while you are in the stuck phase?”

Here are some suggestions:

1.       Clarify your intentions – Get your journal out and write what you want different in your business or life (remember state them in the present, what you want, as if it has already happened)

2.       Clear some space – cleaning up some junk will make room for the new to come in

3.       Learn something new – learning is inspiring – so read a book, watch an inspiring movie, take a workshop or  a teleseminar

4.       Feel your feelings – use the Pure Awareness techniques and change your vibration

5.       Talk to your coach – this is a way to accelerate your ability to clarify your intentions and clear your limiting beliefs

Confession

Even though I am the person who helps people move through the stuck phase, this stuckness occasionally happens to me.  So I have very selfishly invited Donna Messer to spend a day with me to focus and work through a business idea.    I know the power of a small committed group and a skilled facilitator so this time we will be working in a small group.  I will be a participant and Donna Messer www.connectuscanada.com will be the guide.  She recently was nominated as one of the most influential people in Canada and has some interesting techniques to strategize and jumpstart your business and your life.

I sent out an invitation to a small group and quickly signed up enthusiastic participants.  So I invited Donna to stay for a second day.  There is room for four more people.  If you would like to be part of this, you can get the details and register at www.goldenpathways.ca/events.asp

Remember this “low phase” is screening an opportunity ~ make the best of it!

Wishing you a wonder filled day,

Cora

PS: The second date is Tuesday Oct 27 but if the 26^th works better for you – we may be able to do a bit of shuffling – just sent me a note with your request.

 

Intentions Work

These are results I have to share with you!  I recently completed a final session with a client that I worked with for 10 months. What she was able to accomplish in the 10 month period even wowed me, and I have high standards. It is crystal clear that clarifying intentions and becoming resonant with them is a catalyst for fast and powerful change.

This client was experiencing being bullied by a colleague in the workplace. Things got so messy and out of hand that she and the employer negotiated an exit package.  She was demoralized and suffering from pain, anger and blame.  In her first session we clarified what she wanted in several areas of her life.

She couldn’t even imagine that some of those intentions were possible at the time of writing.  Yet, this process set the course of our coaching to eliminate and resolve any barrier in the way of her intentions and heals the pain.

During our completion session we went through her initial list of intentions and that was when we realized the degree that she had actually accomplished. Here are some of her achieved intentions… It was so much fun checking each one off!

Business

• I have a successful transition into consulting work (she has a very fulfilling job)
• I implement a management system of my time and tasks 
• I am calm
• I am pleasantly surprised at making 25% more than my previous job (actually she is making the same with less hours and less stress)
• I heal the “bullying” experience
• I work with positive energetic people who are professional and want to make a difference and have fun at what they are doing

Skills

• My facilitation skills are honed and I am comfortable working with large groups
• My report writing skills are enhanced
• My computer software skills are increased
• I manage myself to complete projects on time
• I manage my business, finances, name, GST
• My work is close to my home (that was interesting – a seemingly impossible situation was transferred into working from home  with occasional travel)

Who I want to Be

• I offer valuable service
• I am dynamic
• I am efficient and effective
• I have fun
• I am confident within myself at what I am doing

Relationships

• There is a healing of relationships at old workplace (she actually went back and did a workshop with the difficult people in the class and had no energetic charge)
• I feel good about myself and have self confidence
• I am not caring what others think
• I learned what I needed to learn from the past work experience (can you imagine being totally free of any charge when thinking or talking about a very traumatic event?)

Family

• My relationship with my husband is deepened and comfortable
•  My relationship with my daughter is healed (a rift has been healed)
•  I have time and energy to attend sports activities etc.  with my younger daughter

Health

• I easily make lifestyle choices that included regular exercise, eating properly and managing mental stress (still working on this and making much better choices and opportunities not imagined just show up
• I feel really well and capable in Business and Relationship Stuff
• I deliberately create my life

All of this reminds me again of how important it is to keep a record of our intentions. It doesn’t matter if our changes are subtle or dramatic – we need to celebrate them and realize how far we have come…

Clearing the Energetic Charge of a Traumatic Experience

You may be wondering how you will know whether you are complete with an unpleasant experience from the past. One thing that I have noticed is that I can’t remember the details.  While I am still hooked by the drama I can tell you who said what and feel the unfairness and experience no matter how long ago it was. 

When I have completed whatever I needed to learn or experience – I can’t remember the details.  I remember the situation but I don’t have an emotional charge – it is like it went into the history books. 

It happened; it was significant and helped me clarify what I want instead and … The best part is that I don’t have to relive the experience over and over with all the associated stress and pain.

Everything is Energy

Now if you are an intention specialist – you will notice that not all the intentions were perfectly constructed – yet she got the results.

The most important thing is the alignment of the energy  ,– this is why just writing or saying intentions doesn’t always work.  We need to become 100% resonant with them.  So each and every session we identified the barriers, limiting beliefs and baggage that prevented 100% resonance.

And since everything is energy – even limiting beliefs (our” baggage”) – we did the appropriate Pure Awareness Technique to achieve 100% resonance.  Only then can the Law of Attraction and inspired action work.

This is all very subtle work.  Sometimes there are very big ah-ah’s and awareness but many times there is just a knowing that something has changed.

So, now what…

Even though my client achieved so much – you may be wondering what is next.

There is always more to experience – more to become – more to achieve – there is a never ending expansion of personal growth.  It is why we came on this earth.  There will always be another challenge or opportunity.  Or as Esther Hicks explains “Contrast from which to create.” Even in the intentions already achieved – there are more layers and subtleties. My buddy coach offers this bit of wisdom, “Once you have stepped through the door – there is no turning back.”   The difference is – it doesn’t scare you anymore – experiencing pure awareness is just too precious.

Congratulations Shirley! I look forward to hearing more about how the world responds to who you really are – without your stories, baggage and limiting beliefs! You are an inspiration to me and to others!

 

Is It Possible to Be Free of Blame?

Everyday– I am stopped in my tracks and stand in awe of what we humans can achieve when we refuse to wallow in our “crappy” life, situation or circumstances.

Let me tell you about someone that has blown me away with her grit and determination.

Homeless to Harvard

Her name is Liz Murray.  Her life is a triumph over adversity and an example of dreaming big. Liz Murray grew up in the Bronx with cocaine-addicted parents.  Liz’s mother died when she was 16 leaving her homeless – living on the streets, riding the subway all night and eating from dumpsters.

Determined to take charge of her life, Liz finished high school in two years while living on the street in New York City.  She then went on to complete her degree at Harvard.  Her website is http://www.homelesstoharvard.com

Despite being in the most difficult of circumstances where her parents spent their welfare cheque on drugs – while she and her sister had no food – Liz Murray has no blame – no anger – no resentment.  She says simply “People can’t give you what they don’t have” For me the core message of her talk was this:  “My life is my own responsibility and there are gifts in where we come from”

She talks about speaking to a group of psychologists who couldn’t accept that she could be free of blame and resentment.  I find it interesting that in the core of our helping profession and that we assume that you have to live in the consequences of our “crappy” life.

To be truly free to be, do and have the life of your dreams requires us to be free of blame.

Here are some more nuggets from Liz Murray:

·         You know in your heart whether you are living from resentment or gratitude

·         Keep knocking until someone says “Yes”

·         There is an empowering choice or a disempowering choice

·         “Life is tough” is an excuse

·         The disempowered conversation blames the past

·         The empowered conversation simply says – “what is next? – I still have a choice”

As a Core Dynamics Coach, I work every day with people with some area of their lives where they want to have a massive breakthrough, a shift, a new opening, and a reinvention of a new future. What continually blows my mind is that they get it! They get it by claiming parts of themselves, cleaning up all areas of their life, transforming blame and taking responsibility

This month, consider one of two options. 

Express Yourself With Confidence

Too many of us have had past experiences that have shaken our confidence.  It may have been that devastating public speaking experience in grade 7, or being criticized for our stupid idea or a host of other encounters that shut down our voice. 

In this workshop series we will dismantle all that holds us back and become free to speak from who we really are.  For more information and details go to http://www.goldenpathways.ca/events.asp

Or consider a…

“Rescue Your Life” Coaching Session

Some of you would prefer to work one on one.  Call or email me to receive a complementary “Rescue Your Life” session and determine how you can transform your life.

keep in mind – What empowers a life? – one empowered choice after another.

Call Cora Whittington 705-745-4005 or email cw@goldenpathways.ca

 

Feeling Good About Who You Are

No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt

If you are like me, you first heard this quote many years ago. Also, if you are like me, you knew that there was truth to it and still felt inferior.

To have self-worth is to have moved beyond the belief that valuing ourselves is egotistical. It is recognition that we are unique and loveable, just as we are. Only when we have come to this point can we really begin to be our true selves in the world or take full part in relationships.

As a tween, I remember very clearly brushing my little sister’s long beautiful hair and telling her how beautiful she was. My mother very quickly admonished me: “Don’t tell her that, it will go to her head”.  And so it was reinforced.  The message was subtle. A lifetime of not valuing me began. I didn’t realize it until midlife; I had considered being less than to be a virtue.

The ironic thing is an awareness that Eckhart Tolle made very clear in his book “A New Earth”.  To paraphrase ~ when we feel superior or inferior we are being egotistical.  The very thing that I was taught was from the ego.  Words cannot say how freeing it was to learn that valuing and loving myself just as I am is truly free of ego.

It may help to look back at your childhood and question where you received the message that you were not good enough – perhaps not loveable.  And then consider if you want to go on believing that.  As long as you believe it and continue to put yourself down, others will, too.  Law of Attraction and your life experience will provide endless ways to prove you right!

In choosing to look at your self-worth today, you are being asked to look at the wounded child within, who didn’t receive the love he or she needed and is still looking to be validated from outside. You must find the wounded part and hold this child in love.  Feel for yourself.  Be kind to yourself. Parent yourself as you would have wanted to be parented then.

If you try to manipulate the people around you into giving the reassurance or security you feel you lacked, you will ultimately be disappointed.  Your partner, boss or colleague can never give what you don’t have within.

Begin to see how power and control are played out in your life.  The fact is that your victim role is based on the belief that you can’t get power any other way.  But in seeking to please and appease, you are just as guilty of trying to control the people around you – into staying around and being nice to you – as someone who is obviously dominating.

On the other hand, you may be concealing your innate sense of worthlessness behind a facade of superiority.  Rather than valuing yourself, you are measuring your worth by your roles and your material success, or lack of it.  You may have convinced many, including yourself, that this is who you are.

Measuring yourself by where you live, who you know and what you do could be leading yourself from the truth.  Your real worth is in the essence of who you are.

The paradox is that as long as you go on believing that the trappings of your life make you special, you will never feel special and loved for yourself.

It is interesting to notice that at the core of feeling inferior or superior – is low self-worth.

This is one of the Core Dynamics of Common Problems – Looking for Yourself Where You Are Not. To receive a free report that describes how this dynamic and others keep you from being who you really are go to www.goldenpathways.ca  or www.trulyconfidentleader.com

It really is time to stop trying to prove yourself and imagining that others are better than you. Or that you are better than them.  You are infinitely precious and truly amazing in your uniqueness.  The moment you connect with that, your life will begin to change.

If this article resonated with you, request a free session to learn more about how to reconnect with the essence of who you really are. 

WOW – I get it now! Bio-awareness

Last fall, I had a small fender bender that resulted in whiplash.  I have been trying lots of different treatments and not getting the results that I had hoped.

Till today,  when I had a very interesting experience.  I had a cranial sacral treatment with Lilli Swanson.  She talks about the system healing itself when it is ready.  Today, she added a dimension that I will try to explain.  She said that car accidents often bring up many levels that need to be healed, more than just the body.  And that when I work through it all I can be in a far better place than when I started. And for me to be patient with myself and create a spaciousness around what I was experiencing.

She started by holding my sacrum and moving up my back – it felt like lids opening and when she got to my head – I noticed many shifts and movement and something very interesting.

This is hard to put into words.  I became an observer of the impact of the accident – I could see inside my body.  I saw a black space and which muscles were affected, and I also knew that there was more to be revealed, but not yet.  I felt space, an excitement and  peace.  I couldn’t interpret it all and didn’t even try yet I felt it was signifigant.

Then I remembered that last week, Tom Stone wrote this in his newsletter.

I mentioned the Levels of Life wiki in a previous newsletter.  On the surface it seems like it is just an outline for organizing all of the various modalities for helping resolve people’s problems into a hierarchical structure that moves from subtler to grosser expressions of life as you move from bottom to top.  The four levels of life in this model are:

What Happens During a WaveMaker Session?

In general, a WaveMaker™ Coaching session goes like this:

I start by asking a question like, “What area of your life would you like to have different?” or “What issue would you like to work on?”

We then determine whether the issue you’ve identified is the most important one for that day. To do this, we use muscle checking, a process whereby we access the innate wisdom of your body. (For a compelling explanation of this process, check out the book Power versus Force by renowned lecturer and physician, Dr. David R. Hawkins.)

Once the optimal issue has been clearly identified, we phrase an intention statement. An intention statement is a sentence that perfectly expresses how your life would be if the issue concerning you was completely resolved. (For example, if the issue you want to work on is your fear of public speaking, your intention statement might be, “I feel completely relaxed and comfortable in front of groups of all sizes”).

After clarifying your intention statement, we use muscle checking to determine whether we need to know what barriers in you are preventing you from having the experience that you want (i.e. what’s preventing you from feeling relaxed in front of groups). The more accurately we can determine ‘what’s really going on’ within you, the deeper and more profound a result you may have. (This is where the skill and training of the WaveMaker™ Coach matters a lot). Most commonly, what’s at the root of the problem is something related to what WaveMaker™ inventor, Tom Stone, has labeled “The 12 Core Dynamics of Common Problems”. (Scroll down for a short description.)

Next, you pick up the two brass handles of the WaveMaker™ with the machine turned on.
NOTE: The WaveMaker™ technology is not recommended for people with autoimmune disorders, those with implanted electronic devices like a heart pacemaker, or for pregnant women.

After holding the handles for a short time, we check that the issue has been thoroughly resolved (again through muscle checking). Some people feel no sensation as they use the WaveMaker™, while others experience a feeling of peacefulness or ‘resolution’ of the situation.

Finally, we will have a short discussion about what you might expect will be different as a result of the session and whether there are specific things you can do to help yourself ‘live into’ the change more easily. I will also recommend that you drink 2 liters of purified water per day for the next few days to assist your body in washing out any physical ‘residue’ that may have been released as a result of the shift in your energy field. You may also notice yourself feeling either extra-tired or extra-energized over the next few days.

The 12 Core Dynamics of Common Problems: a quick introduction to what may be causing you trouble.

If you were to spend an hour with a toddler, you would see that we, as humans, are innately designed to live completely in the present moment, trust and act on our intuition, live free of judgment, feel every emotion fully, unconditionally love, and experience ourselves as beings with limitless potential. As most of us grow, however, we encounter people and situations that gradually stop us from acting in these ways, and which create problems in our lives. The 12 Core Dynamics that evolve within us over time and cause most of our problems (and which the WaveMaker™ can eliminate) are

(The inner circles in this diagram represent the three central dynamics. The outer circles contain three commonly reoccurring patterns that stem from each three central dynamic.)

1) Resisting feeling things fully
This dynamic is based on experiences of having been overwhelmed by intense feelings when we were very young. To avoid the experience of overwhelm, we make the inner decision to resist feeling things fully. This dynamic is based on the illusion that if you feel fully, you won’t be able to handle it.
When this dynamic is absent, what you experience is, “I feel anything and everything without the fear of being overwhelmed.”

2) Ignoring your intuition
This dynamic comes from having been punished as a child for acting on your inner knowing/intuition. It is based on the illusion that if you act on your intuition, you will be overwhelmed by the consequences.
When this dynamic is absent, what you feel is, “I completely trust my intuition and I always act on it.”

3) Being judgmental
When we judge something (or someone) it’s to create a feeling of us being separate from it – “I’m not like that!” In reality, the things we judge reflect a part of ourselves that we don’t want to acknowledge. (When there is no ‘charge’ in us about something, we feel neutral about it.) This dynamic is based on the habit of avoiding issues that we really need to address and resolve within ourselves.
When this dynamic is absent, what you feel is, “Everything I experience is a part of me. I acknowledge it, embrace it and value it.”

4) Avoiding the present
When this dynamic is operating in us, we get absorbed in the stories we’ve invented about past events or we start anticipating possible negative outcomes in the future. This dynamic is based on the habit of avoiding being present and the fear that being present will be difficult. Many addictions that people experience are the result of having a number of unresolved emotions about the past that feel too intense to deal with in the present.
When this dynamic is absent, what you feel is, “I live completely in the present moment.”

5) Looking for yourself where you are not
When this dynamic is operating, we try to get a sense of ourselves from situations outside of ourselves. We may, for example, define ourselves by our actions, accomplishments or possessions. This dynamic is based on the illusion that we are incomplete and need something from outside ourselves to be whole.
When this dynamic is absent, what you feel is, “I am whole and complete.”

6) Mistaking need for love
When this dynamic is operating, we confuse love – which is unconditional and requires nothing in return – with the need to receive something from someone else. (Love lets go; need holds on.) This dynamic is based on the illusion that love is something that you get from outside yourself. Our culture constantly confuses love as need in our movies, songs and media.
When this dynamic is absent, what you feel is, “I love without needing anything in return and I participate in relationships of mutual giving.”

7) Resisting change
When this dynamic is present in us, we find ourselves looking for events around us to stay the same so that we can feel secure. It is based on the illusion that stability and security can be found in the changing world around us, rather than within us.
When this dynamic is absent, what you feel is, “I live in the delight and wonder of uncertainty.”

Limiting self-expression
Because of this dynamic, we hold ourselves back out of the fear of losing the approval of others. When we express ourselves powerfully, some people don’t like it because it makes them feel uncomfortable that they, themselves, are holding back. This dynamic is based on the illusion that if we powerfully express ourselves, we will be alone
When this dynamic is absent, what you feel is, “I can be fully self-expressed without fearing loss of love from others.”

9) Trying to force an outcome
When this dynamic is operating in us, we feel compelled to ‘make things happen’ in a particular way and in a particular time frame. This dynamic is based on the illusion that we alone are responsible for what occurs in our lives, rather than a connected part of all of life.
When this dynamic is absent, what you feel is, “I get the sense of myself from the essential nature of who I truly am rather than from my actions or accomplishments.”

10) Excluding other perspectives
When this dynamic is present, we over-identify with our minds and think we have, and need to have, all the answers. This dynamic comes from not recognizing the difference between thinking with our mind and ‘knowing’ from our deepest level or soul.
When this dynamic is absent, what you feel is, “I know things from deep within myself and I know the difference between thinking and knowing.”

11) Manufacturing interpretations
When this dynamic is operating, we get overly absorbed in trying to explain or interpret events. It is based on the illusion that everything is not perfect as it is.
When this dynamic is absent, what you feel is,“I sense the perfection in everything even when my intellect doesn’t get it.”

12) Over-reacting to circumstances
When this dynamic is present, we become overly disturbed or distressed by what happens to ourselves or others. This dynamic interferes with our ability to maintain a strong sense of who we are under extreme circumstances.
When this dynamic is absent, what you feel is,“I feel a deep sense of equanimity (balance, calm) during experiences of pleasure or pain.”

Cora is a professional, certified WaveMaker™ Coach. She is also certified as a 12 Core Dynamic Seminar Teacher and a Vaporize Your Anxiety Coach.

Tom Stone is the founder of this work. To learn more, please enjoy his web site at: www.greatlifetechnologies.com.

 

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